[Wife] Are you sure we’ll be able to find the pub?
[WTF] Oh, yes. I’m a practitioner of the ancient and near-lost art of chip divining. You hold a piece of buttered white bread in each hand and slowly rotate until they begin to come together of their own accord.
[River Cottage Guy] … so the trick to getting sweet cucumbers is to pick them when they’re young.
[WTF] What you’re saying is that cucumbers get increasingly bitter as they age?
[Wife] Who does that remind me of, eh?
[WTF] You call it “Health and Safety”. I call it “preventing evolution from doing an increasingly necessary job”.
>Skwrunch<
[WTF] I feel a mouse.
[Wife] Where?
[WTF] There, on the stair.
[Wife] Where on the stair?
[WTF] >Lifts foot< Right there. A little mouse with no clogs on. Because it’s popped them. Thanks, cat.
[Cat] Hey, I was saving that half. If you feed me, I may forgive you. In time.
[WTF] An item identified as a “bath bomb” should not be allowed on sale unless it has a minimum of 1 cubic centimeter of potassium in the center.
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