[Soap Bottle] Kills 99.99% of bacteria!
[WTF] Always knew I was special. According to that bottle, I’m one in ten thousand.
[Announcer] … and this year’s Razzie for the worst special effects goes to…
>Pregnant Pause<
[Announcer] Star Wars VII – The Sales Force Awakens – for Carrie Fisher’s plastic surgery!
[WTF] Ah, yes… the one time that using CG would have made the character look more realistic.
[WTF] Remember, Jesus died for your sins. Specifically, Greed and Gluttony. Merry Christmas.
[WTF] What exactly is it about ovaries that lets the owner instantly locate long-missing objects, precisely where you know for a fact you looked less than 30 seconds ago?
[WTF] Could the Salem witch trials have been avoided if the unfortunate women involved had just spent a few minutes longer pretending to look for their husbands’ irretrievably-lost pair of specs?
[WTF] Right, that’s it. I’m totally fed up of Christmas leftovers.
[WTF] I’m going cold turkey.
[WTF] Aaahthankyouverymuch.
The Milennium Falcon arrives after a four-month extended transfer after the hyperdrive fails. Again.
[Leia] You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.
[Han Solo] Chewie? Awww, no, he’s such a sweetie, really.
[Chewbacca] ??!?
[Leia] !!?!
[Han Solo] Oh – the Falcon? Now look, princess…
[WTF] Mental note: When attempting to induce consciousness round about 11AM on one of those days using levels of caffeine that would give a rhino double vision via the medium of Vietnamese coffee, take special care when reaching into the fridge not to mix up the tubes of condensed milk and garlic paste.
[Sign in Cafe] “This Is A Self-Clearing Area”
[WTF] Self clearing? It clears itself? Not with staff, or robots or anything like that? Very cool, I wonder how they do it. I’ll just leave all these dirty plates right here then, a system like that needs to be encouraged.
[WTF] If I ever find the bugger who convinced me that Minnie Driver had an older sister called Laurie, I swear I’m gonna…
[BBC News] Li Ka-shing in talks to buy O2 for £10bn
[WTF] Ka-ching indeed.
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