Sometimes I think it's just me.

Tag humph

On Oxterial Uniqueness

[Soap Bottle] Kills 99.99% of bacteria!

[WTF] Always knew I was special. According to that bottle, I’m one in ten thousand.

On Potential Razzie Winners

[Announcer] … and this year’s Razzie for the worst special effects goes to…

>Pregnant Pause<

[Announcer] Star Wars VII – The Sales Force Awakens – for Carrie Fisher’s plastic surgery!

[WTF] Ah, yes… the one time that using CG would have made the character look more realistic.

On Seasonal Appropriateness

[WTF] Remember, Jesus died for your sins. Specifically, Greed and Gluttony. Merry Christmas.

On Gender-specific Cloaking Devices

[WTF] What exactly is it about ovaries that lets the owner instantly locate long-missing objects, precisely where you know for a fact you looked less than 30 seconds ago?

[WTF] Could the Salem witch trials have been avoided if the unfortunate women involved had just spent a few minutes longer pretending to look for their husbands’ irretrievably-lost pair of specs?

On Seasonal Anticipation

[WTF] Right, that’s it. I’m totally fed up of Christmas leftovers.

[WTF] I’m going cold turkey.

[WTF] Aaahthankyouverymuch.

Star Wars – The Missing Bits #1

The Milennium Falcon arrives after a four-month extended transfer after the hyperdrive fails. Again.

[Leia] You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.

[Han Solo] Chewie? Awww, no, he’s such a sweetie, really.

[Chewbacca] ??!?

[Leia] !!?!

[Han Solo] Oh – the Falcon? Now look, princess…

On Non-Awakenings

[WTF] Mental note: When attempting to induce consciousness round about 11AM on one of those days using levels of caffeine that would give a rhino double vision via the medium of Vietnamese coffee, take special care when reaching into the fridge not to mix up the tubes of condensed milk and garlic paste.

On Overly Polite Notices

[Sign in Cafe] “This Is A Self-Clearing Area”

[WTF] Self clearing? It clears itself? Not with staff, or robots or anything like that? Very cool, I wonder how they do it. I’ll just leave all these dirty plates right here then, a system like that needs to be encouraged.

On Misplaced Trust

[WTF] If I ever find the bugger who convinced me that Minnie Driver had an older sister called Laurie, I swear I’m gonna…

On Nominative Determinism

[BBC News] Li Ka-shing in talks to buy O2 for £10bn

[WTF] Ka-ching indeed.

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