[WTF] Remember, Jesus died for your sins. Specifically, Greed and Gluttony. Merry Christmas.
[WTF] Right, that’s it. I’m totally fed up of Christmas leftovers.
[WTF] I’m going cold turkey.
[WTF] Aaahthankyouverymuch.
[WTF] Mental note: When attempting to induce consciousness round about 11AM on one of those days using levels of caffeine that would give a rhino double vision via the medium of Vietnamese coffee, take special care when reaching into the fridge not to mix up the tubes of condensed milk and garlic paste.
[Sign in Cafe] “This Is A Self-Clearing Area”
[WTF] Self clearing? It clears itself? Not with staff, or robots or anything like that? Very cool, I wonder how they do it. I’ll just leave all these dirty plates right here then, a system like that needs to be encouraged.
[Wife] … so do they even have MacDonalds in Paris?
[WTF] Oh, sure they do. But the Cordon Bleu cookery school tends to have snipers on nearby rooftops. When they do fast food, they really mean fast food. It’s worth the risk though; you haven’t lived until you’ve been insulted by Ronald MacDonald in a French accent.
[Tea Shop Menu] Queen Mother’s Blend (Ceylon and Assam)
[WTF] … no Bombay Sapphire?
[Customer] I’d like a regular skinny decaf latte please.
[Starbucks Guy] Would you like sprinkles on your tepid water?
[Wife] Are you sure we’ll be able to find the pub?
[WTF] Oh, yes. I’m a practitioner of the ancient and near-lost art of chip divining. You hold a piece of buttered white bread in each hand and slowly rotate until they begin to come together of their own accord.
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