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[WTF] Build up your forearms, for example with constant masturbation.
[Announcer] … and this year’s Razzie for the worst special effects goes to…
>Pregnant Pause<
[Announcer] Star Wars VII – The Sales Force Awakens – for Carrie Fisher’s plastic surgery!
[WTF] Ah, yes… the one time that using CG would have made the character look more realistic.
[WTF] El Niño – Putting the Isle into Carlisle.
[Mother-In-Law] AAAAARGHfukfukfuk>smash<ohhhyou>clang< etc.
[Wife] Wow! What’s wrong? Do you need anything?
[WTF] Tranquiliser?
[Wife] (quietly) You thinking valium?
[WTF] (quietly) I’m thinking darted from a safe distance.
[WTF] Remember, Jesus died for your sins. Specifically, Greed and Gluttony. Merry Christmas.
[WTF] What exactly is it about ovaries that lets the owner instantly locate long-missing objects, precisely where you know for a fact you looked less than 30 seconds ago?
[WTF] Could the Salem witch trials have been avoided if the unfortunate women involved had just spent a few minutes longer pretending to look for their husbands’ irretrievably-lost pair of specs?
[WTF] Right, that’s it. I’m totally fed up of Christmas leftovers.
[WTF] I’m going cold turkey.
[WTF] Aaahthankyouverymuch.
[Staff Room] Hey, there he is! Woot! Yeeha!
[Mick the Driving Instructor] Oh, c’mon guys, not again…
[Staff Room] You’ll never live this one down, Mick!
[Mick] Look, he was just plain Max Rockatansky when I signed his pass certificate, I thought he was just a bit overconfident…
[BBC News] Network Rail says “All bets off for £38bn rail plan”
[WTF] So… we’re going to spend £50 billion on getting from London to Birmingham 20 minutes faster, instead of £38 billion to bring pretty much every other line and station in the country out of the golden age of steam? Tell y’what, if you throw in a high-speed line from Heathrow to Gatwick as a technology tester you can keep the change.